So I recently got my phone taken away from me, but no biggie, it allowed me to do a lot of things that I've been wanting to do for a while (ie. paint, write, draw). But I'm not really feeling the whole creativity thing on this May 11 at 10:35 pm, so I'm going to type 'why is...' then every letter of the alphabet and attempt to answer the most popular question for each here.
Why is a tennis ball fuzzy?
Well, my friend, I believe it's because Mr. Sherman L Tennison had lots of green fuzzy chest hair and when they were re-developing the tennis ball in the late 1830's they wanted to honor him in that way... Lol idk
Why is biodiversity important?
Because it allows there to be proper resources on Earth for all the animals and it keeps shit in check and it's like a giant check and balances system so that no one species gains too much dominance. Also it's pretty.
Why is Chris Brown in jail?
Because he's a fucking asshole that's why
Why is diversity important?
Well, we, as the population of Earth, are diverse, and it's important for people to be exposed to cultures that aren't their own so that their world views can broaden and they can appreciate the lives of those around them.
Why is ezra a?
What the fuck? Who is ezra? I don't understand this question.......
Why is flappy bird being taken down?
Because the world is not a perfect place, my friend, and bad things happen sometimes...
Why is Good Luck Charlie ending?
To be quite honest I'm not sure, probably has to do with the fact that Bridget Mendler's getting to old for it.
Why is Her rated R?
Well let me go check the IMDb thing! Ok I checked the parent thing and there's apparently a lot of sex. It says that the man even has sex with a computer.
Why is it so cold?
That's kind of a vague question, i mean where are you? what month is it? what are you wearing?
Why is Justin Beiber in jail?
Please see the question about Chris Brown for an answer.
Why is Kim Kardashian famous?
cuz she's pretty and comes from money
Why is Lone Survior rated R?
Goodness, two questions about movies?!?!? Find it yourself on IMDb...
Why is my eye twitching?
Umm... I'm not really sure but you should probably get that checked out...
Why is nutrition important?
Because you don't want to die (I hope)
Why is Obamacare bad?
I really don't think it's bad, the website just didn't work. It's actually a really good thing, it makes it so that the people who are already paying for healthcare pay less and the people who aren't get healthcare.
Why is Pluto not a planet?
Because NASA said it was too small.
Why is quinoa healthy?
I'm not sure, but I think it has something to do with the fact that, unseasoned, it tastes like fucking shit
Why is Russia invading Ukraine?
Because Mother Russia has way too much testosterone and thinks that Ukraine is theirs because it used to be, like a gazillion years ago.
Why is sugar bad for you?
It's not... In abundance, anything's bad for you. Sugar makes you hyper then when you crash it sucks, but sugar itself is actually nessecary for your body to work
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Shower Thoughts
So I just got out of the shower and in the shower (one of the places I do my best thinking) it dawned on me that teenagers (collectively and generally (yes, I'm shuddering at the thought of a generalization)) make a lot of sexual references and blatantly mention genitalia with no further thought.
I was thinking about this because today, at lunch, I was sitting with a bunch of guys waiting for the two other girls who sit with me and a ton of guys at lunch and one of the guys, Lucas, basically yells, "Don't you just love having a dick!?" in an obvious (but feeble) attempt to make me uncomfortable. That was the began my contemplation of the topic.
I didn't reconsider it until later, when I was in the shower. Teenagers are known for making comments of questionable obscenity and maturity and, generally, adults scorn these comments and tell the kids to grow up or quit being so immature. To an extent, I agree with said adults, dick jokes can get annoying after a while, but at the same time, we don't need to push all mentions of sex into absolute darkness. I think, and this isn't just me being a self-riteous (spell check couldn't help me on that last word, I screwed up too much) teenager, that we (you) should probably all strive to be a bit more like teenagers and adopt some of their (our) unfiltered vocabulary. It would really benefit us as a society because then there won't be girls thinking shoving yellow skittles up their vaginas will cure their STD's.
Basically the conclusion of my shower thoughts is simply a reaffirmation of one that many have reached before. Sex in America is too shrouded in the idea that it should be taboo.
I was thinking about this because today, at lunch, I was sitting with a bunch of guys waiting for the two other girls who sit with me and a ton of guys at lunch and one of the guys, Lucas, basically yells, "Don't you just love having a dick!?" in an obvious (but feeble) attempt to make me uncomfortable. That was the began my contemplation of the topic.
I didn't reconsider it until later, when I was in the shower. Teenagers are known for making comments of questionable obscenity and maturity and, generally, adults scorn these comments and tell the kids to grow up or quit being so immature. To an extent, I agree with said adults, dick jokes can get annoying after a while, but at the same time, we don't need to push all mentions of sex into absolute darkness. I think, and this isn't just me being a self-riteous (spell check couldn't help me on that last word, I screwed up too much) teenager, that we (you) should probably all strive to be a bit more like teenagers and adopt some of their (our) unfiltered vocabulary. It would really benefit us as a society because then there won't be girls thinking shoving yellow skittles up their vaginas will cure their STD's.
Basically the conclusion of my shower thoughts is simply a reaffirmation of one that many have reached before. Sex in America is too shrouded in the idea that it should be taboo.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Strangers
I was recently sitting at my local Starbucks drinking a seasonal pumpkin spice latte and was surrounded by people who I realized I was completely trusting despite that fact that I had never net them. I was trusting them not to mug me or shoot me or steal my precious iPad. I trusted an older woman not to stalk me when I told her my name, grade and where I attended school. In fact, a middle aged man trusted me to keep his Mac Book Air safe while he went to the restroom. He asked me, a 14 year old girl, over all of the other people in the room, including the baristas, to watch his very expensive laptop, and I was a stranger to him. It then dawned on me that there were at least two other people in the Starbucks who I had seen there before at least once, yet I didn't know any more about them than what I could gather from their physical appearances. I thought about it for a moment then decided it would be interesting to at least strike up a conversation with someone, even if it was just about something as insignificant as the weather. First, there was the older woman who asked me about my iPad and the app I was using to do my homework. I explained the app (it was notability, a note-taking app) to her and then she began to tell me about how she volunteers somewhere that teaches English as a second language. We talked briefly about that and then proceeded to go back to our respective personal bubbles and shortly after that, then she left the coffee shop. The second person who I attempted to have a conversation with was the man with the Mac Book Air, he had on headphones, but he seemed to be the least sketchy of all of the people in my immediate vicinity. He had on work clothes which included nice pants, a nice shirt, dress shoes and snazzy blue, red and purple striped socks. I told him I liked his socks, he thanked me and resumed working on whatever he was working on without another word. The third, and final, person I decided to attempt and converse with was a man who looked to be in his 20's. My guess was correct and I know because he told me. He was 24. the reason I didn't talk to him first, though I had wanted to, was because his arms were tattooed nearly to the point that he had sleeves. I suppose I subconsciously judged him and assumed we was sketchy because of his tattoos. Also, whenever I would look at his tattoos (with positive interest), I would see him looking at me and sort of glaring, as if he thought I was judging him. None of his tattoos were obscene or unusual, or at least unusual without meaning. I know because he told me the meaning of all of them, or at least all of the visible ones.
The first thing that I asked him was, "Does it hurt really badly to get a tattoo?" Which seemed like a safer way to start a conversation than "What is the significance of your tattoos?"
He responded by telling me that different areas hurt more than others, specifically that bonier areas or areas with less fat hurt significantly more than fatty areas. Then he asked me if I was thinking about getting a tattoo.
I told him maybe, but I had a long time to think about it since I was only in high school. I think he thought that I was older since he seemed a bit shocked at this. I then proceeded to say that I would only get one if it could be something with real significance.
He agreed with me and said that if I got a tattoo I should think about it a lot to make sure I actually wanted to do it because he had gotten some while he was drunk and regretted it.
I asked him if any of his tattoos had significance.
He told me the meaning of every single visible tattoo and even a few that were concealed beneath clothing. He had a tree with a Native American face morphed into the side of the trunk which began on his forearm and extended up past the hem of his t-shirt, which he said he got because he liked abstract art. He also had two stars, one on each of his forearms, with letters around them, which he promptly opened up about without me even having to ask. The letters were the initials of his parents. One was for his mother who died when he was 10. And the other was for his father. He also had what he said was the logo for the company he founded, which he said was a entertainment company on his other arm. On one of his biceps he showed me a series of starts which he openly admitted to getting while he was drunk, and he said he hated them. He told me about the roses he had on one of his arms and he said he got them because he wanted a somewhat traditional tattoo and he didn't regret getting it at all, despite the fact that it had no significance at all. The final tattoo he mentioned, I couldn't see, because it was on his knee. He said it was the name of his best friend, and he even said he got the tattoo as the result of a bet, but he didn't regret that one either. At the time, it seemed totally crazy that he would open up about the death of one of his parents to a complete stranger. It seemed totally crazy that he would admit to getting drunk and getting a tattoo as a result of it. It seemed totally crazy that he didn't seem afraid that I would judge him at all after that first question that I asked him. But maybe it isn't that crazy after all. Maybe strangers are the most trustworthy people of all. Maybe that's why he was the third person to find out that I, daughter of a conservative Christian mother and a liberal father who has specifically said that neither me or my sisters could ever get a tattoo, might want one. I told him even thought I didn't even get his name. Maybe that's why the man with the striped socks trusted me to watch over his laptop while it was open and running. Maybe I will never see any of those people again, but maybe I will, and maybe they'll remember me and Ill remember them and maybe, we might just start talking again because maybe, we formed connections. And I think connections, real, human, non-facebook aided connections, are the most important thing a person can have.
The first thing that I asked him was, "Does it hurt really badly to get a tattoo?" Which seemed like a safer way to start a conversation than "What is the significance of your tattoos?"
He responded by telling me that different areas hurt more than others, specifically that bonier areas or areas with less fat hurt significantly more than fatty areas. Then he asked me if I was thinking about getting a tattoo.
I told him maybe, but I had a long time to think about it since I was only in high school. I think he thought that I was older since he seemed a bit shocked at this. I then proceeded to say that I would only get one if it could be something with real significance.
He agreed with me and said that if I got a tattoo I should think about it a lot to make sure I actually wanted to do it because he had gotten some while he was drunk and regretted it.
I asked him if any of his tattoos had significance.
He told me the meaning of every single visible tattoo and even a few that were concealed beneath clothing. He had a tree with a Native American face morphed into the side of the trunk which began on his forearm and extended up past the hem of his t-shirt, which he said he got because he liked abstract art. He also had two stars, one on each of his forearms, with letters around them, which he promptly opened up about without me even having to ask. The letters were the initials of his parents. One was for his mother who died when he was 10. And the other was for his father. He also had what he said was the logo for the company he founded, which he said was a entertainment company on his other arm. On one of his biceps he showed me a series of starts which he openly admitted to getting while he was drunk, and he said he hated them. He told me about the roses he had on one of his arms and he said he got them because he wanted a somewhat traditional tattoo and he didn't regret getting it at all, despite the fact that it had no significance at all. The final tattoo he mentioned, I couldn't see, because it was on his knee. He said it was the name of his best friend, and he even said he got the tattoo as the result of a bet, but he didn't regret that one either. At the time, it seemed totally crazy that he would open up about the death of one of his parents to a complete stranger. It seemed totally crazy that he would admit to getting drunk and getting a tattoo as a result of it. It seemed totally crazy that he didn't seem afraid that I would judge him at all after that first question that I asked him. But maybe it isn't that crazy after all. Maybe strangers are the most trustworthy people of all. Maybe that's why he was the third person to find out that I, daughter of a conservative Christian mother and a liberal father who has specifically said that neither me or my sisters could ever get a tattoo, might want one. I told him even thought I didn't even get his name. Maybe that's why the man with the striped socks trusted me to watch over his laptop while it was open and running. Maybe I will never see any of those people again, but maybe I will, and maybe they'll remember me and Ill remember them and maybe, we might just start talking again because maybe, we formed connections. And I think connections, real, human, non-facebook aided connections, are the most important thing a person can have.
Monday, May 13, 2013
What I'm Thankful For
Here's a list of thirty seven things that I'm thankful for(in no particular order):
1. I am alive
2. I am not currently hospitalized
3. I have completely intact flanges (finger and toe bones)
4. I have a house
5. I don't have to pay for said house
6. I have Internet access
7. I have my own bathroom
8. Bacon exists
9. Those balls that look like beehives are only 3.75$ at target and are really good decorations for a bedroom
10. I have shoes
11. I have food
12. I have friends
13. I've never had a cat barf on me
14. I own EOS and Baby Lips lip balms
15. No one has ever licked my stomach
16. The water in my country usually isn't disease ridden
17. I know how to make paper cranes
18. Chipotle is a restaurant that I have access to
19. Brownie batter exists
20. Neither or my parents have died in a fatal car accident involving a truck full of bowling balls
21. Baby food fruit puff cereal (omigod those things are amazing!!!)
22. College ruled lined paper is a thing
23. Root beer floats have not been outlawed in my state
24. My dog is not radioactive
25. I can do 78 sit ups and not sweat at all
26. I know how to swim
27. I have never fallen into a dangerously tall waterfall while kayaking in a river
28. I have a nose
29. I have never been electrocuted by corn on the cob
30. I have a brain (unlike some Americans)
31. I own a feather pen
32. Perverted jokes exist
33. Inside Altoids boxes there are little papers that have special things on them, like secret messages and instructions for making a hamster sized dunce cap
34. UNICORNS!!!! (They're real, so shut up haters)
35. I've never had to have a limb amputated
36. There is toilet paper!!!
37. The sun hasn't died yet
(This post will soon be followed by a list of things that I am not thankful for)
1. I am alive
2. I am not currently hospitalized
3. I have completely intact flanges (finger and toe bones)
4. I have a house
5. I don't have to pay for said house
6. I have Internet access
7. I have my own bathroom
8. Bacon exists
9. Those balls that look like beehives are only 3.75$ at target and are really good decorations for a bedroom
10. I have shoes
11. I have food
12. I have friends
13. I've never had a cat barf on me
14. I own EOS and Baby Lips lip balms
15. No one has ever licked my stomach
16. The water in my country usually isn't disease ridden
17. I know how to make paper cranes
18. Chipotle is a restaurant that I have access to
19. Brownie batter exists
20. Neither or my parents have died in a fatal car accident involving a truck full of bowling balls
21. Baby food fruit puff cereal (omigod those things are amazing!!!)
22. College ruled lined paper is a thing
23. Root beer floats have not been outlawed in my state
24. My dog is not radioactive
25. I can do 78 sit ups and not sweat at all
26. I know how to swim
27. I have never fallen into a dangerously tall waterfall while kayaking in a river
28. I have a nose
29. I have never been electrocuted by corn on the cob
30. I have a brain (unlike some Americans)
31. I own a feather pen
32. Perverted jokes exist
33. Inside Altoids boxes there are little papers that have special things on them, like secret messages and instructions for making a hamster sized dunce cap
34. UNICORNS!!!! (They're real, so shut up haters)
35. I've never had to have a limb amputated
36. There is toilet paper!!!
37. The sun hasn't died yet
(This post will soon be followed by a list of things that I am not thankful for)
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Mothers' Day
Dear Mom,
I would like to wish you a merry commemoration of the fact that neither you nor I died in the process of me being thrust out of your vagina.
Lots of love,
Your daughter
I would like to wish you a merry commemoration of the fact that neither you nor I died in the process of me being thrust out of your vagina.
Lots of love,
Your daughter
Friday, March 1, 2013
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Girl Scout Cookies
so, recently, i was looking at the girl scout cookies that i bought from my sister. I was wondering what the serving size on a box of Samoas was, not that i would follow it, just that i would tell myself that i would follow it than i would eat the whole box. Anyway, it said that the serving size was two cookies.
Before looking at the serving size, i would've assumed that the serving size was at least three cookies, possible four. I was thinking, that if cookie companies (not just girl scouts) wanted to make more money, then they should probably make the serving size much lower. After all, the first thing that i normally look at on a box/bag of food is the amount of fat or sugar, not the serving size Actually, most of the time, i never even look at the serving size! If they made the serving size lower someone would look at the amount of fat, see three or four mg and think, 'wow! this has so little fat! ill buy it!' instead of thinking, 'wow, this has twenty five grams of fat, no way I'm buying that!'. they would look a the exact same thing, probably eat the exact same amount and buy one but not the other!!!!!
You're welcome, cookie companies...
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